The Destroyer Is Manifest

He is among the oldest of demon lords. He rules his frozen realm in the Abyss from a castle as cold and as black as his heart. He commands monstrosities of all kinds. Mortals prostrate themselves before him. Even gods have reason to fear his passing.

He is Orcus, the Prince of Undeath.

And he has no elbows.

So, yeah. My Orcus figure finally came in and… Maybe it’s buyer’s guilt, but I’m less impressed than I thought I would be. Oh sure, overall, this plastic figure is what you’ve come to expect from Wizards of the Coast’s prepainted minis, the Icons series in particular. His body is adorned with belts, bracelets and anklets of gold, his body covered only by a simple loincloth. He leans towards the viewer, Wand of Orcus held in his right hand as though he were preparing to bring it to bear against whatever fool has chosen to oppose him. His stance suggests that he is lumbering forward, charging down on his unworthy foes, and his mouth is open in a howl of rage. Massive wings unfold from his back, with the regal fury one would exect such a being to wear a cape.

There’s just one problem I have with it. One thing I keep coming back to: The arms. The arms are almost comically stubby columns of solid muscle with no elbows, not even the suggestion of elbows. His fists are seemingly tiny nubs on the ends of these tumorus appendages. They take what was a rather impressive figure and make it somewhat silly. I don’t know how they fucked this up; He HAS knees. His head pose suggests a neck. His collar suggests elbows. But his arms, his arms, they blast outwards from his shoulders. They couldn’t have NOT noticed that their sculpt had these absurd Rob Liefeld-ian arms. Maybe this is why this thing had a limited run.

Also, it doesn’t even come with a map. Meh. Would it have killed them…?

Overall… Not really recommended, unless you’re a collector of psychotic magnitude. It’s apparently already out of print, however, so prices are likely to only go up. Don’t pay too much for this. It’s not a BAD figure, but it’s got… a few issues. I’m getting a little buyer’s guilt, as I said, but overall, I guess I’ve spent my money on worse.

I argue, however, that this is a perfect example of why Wizards can’t make money off their minis…


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